Qaddafi Calls for “Jihad” Against Switzerland, Switzerland Says “Whatever”

TRIPOLI- Colonel Muammar Al Qaddafi, leader of Libya with no discernable title, as he refuses to be known as “dictator”, is well known for having not matured mentally for the last 63 of his 68 years. His insane ideas have included a combination Israeli-Palestinian state called “Isratine”*. His most recent escapade has been a schoolyard-esque grudge against Switzerland after Swiss officials detained his son for two days over alleged beatings of servants two years ago. Col. Qaddafi’s immediate response was to pull all diplomats from Switzerland, remove all money from Swiss banks, and set up an oil embargo on the otherwise neutral country. In addition, he detained two Swiss businessmen who were in Libya at the time. One was released this week after nineteen months of detainment, the other has yet to be released.

So it came as a surprise to absolutely nobody when, in reaction to a Swiss ban on new minarets for mosques within Switzerland, which, incidentally, was voted in last November, Col. Qaddafi threw his coloring book and crayons at a wall and had a hissy fit.

“If Switzerland was on our borders, we would fight it,” he whined. “Since we’re not, I’m going to pout and suck my thumb.”

Yasar Ozdemir, member of the Zurich-based Swiss Federation of Muslim Associations, told Agence France-Presse that Col. Qaddafi’s actions did not surprise him at all, adding that “he often says such nonsense.”

Other Muslim leaders in Europe eagerly pointed out that Col. Qaddafi has no religious authority to declare a Jihad. Omar el-Sanie couldn’t help but laugh out loud when he heard of the call for Jihad. In an interview with the AP, he said, “Do you know what the word jihad means? It means you have to sacrifice your life for what you are doing. God knows why he said that.”

This is, sadly, not even Qaddafi’s first outburst of the month. Just last week, he barred the citizens of 25 European nations from entering Libya to get back at Switzerland for imposing travel restrictions on his family, ministers, and Qaddafi himself. “If they won’t let me into their tree house, I’ll make my own tree house that they can’t come to!” he is known to have screamed. Europe responded by collectively shrugging their shoulders and going about their business. The only comment made was when one official wondered why Qaddafi was rambling about tree houses.

“You never know with the crazies,” lawmaker Oskar Freysinger told AP reporters.

One Swiss official, who wished to remain anonymous, told It Came To Pass That reporters that “In my opinion, [Col. Qaddafi] really just needs to grow up and get rid of those women who babysit him.” When Qaddafi was asked to comment on this, he screamed “They’re bodyguards, not babysitters! Switzerland is a poopyhead!”

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/27/world/europe/27swiss.html?ref=europe

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/26/AR2010022602903.html

* No, seriously, he actually suggested a state called Isratine. I’m not kidding. I’m sure it went over well on both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.